How do I carry on?

So here's the low-down.

My other half, my Iain, my split-apart and soulmate, has been robbed from me by violent South Africa.

How do I continue alone?  I know I said I'll always be writing because that's who I am...  maybe that's all that is left of me now.  He made me into so much I wasn't before.  He showed me I could be a performer, even when hyper-critical people told me I'm not "good enough".  He was much of the energy, the driving force, behind book launches, concerts, promos, print runs and so on.  He was a lot of the driving force in my life in fact.  He was my liaisons person - who kept contact with people.  But much more than that, he was a wonderful father who could play with his kids with the fun of a child, he was the one with whom I could be silly and not care what "people" thought (such a lot of uncalled-for disapproval comes from "people"), he was the one who could show us how to have fun and find fun in everything.

And he was my soulmate.

He is there, across the veils...  but how to I carry on in this world without him?